Confessions

the thing is i love you
that's really all there is to it
well, it kind of took me by surprise
i never wanted to tell you how i feel
i will be vulnerable you knowing how i feel
maybe because i was kind of hoping that
the next i fell in love with will be my last
and to think that it would be with you
you were never surprised, were you?
you even said you were waiting for me to open up
but why would you want me to?
when you later said i am nobody to you?
hell, you may not know how you feel
or maybe you do and have reservations
if that is the case then
whatever those reservations are i respect them
or maybe you really just don't feel the same way
and you're taking for granted the feelings i give
but still, in the end, they don't matter
i know how i feel so i had to tell you
and i hope that everything's alright


7 July 2011

Realization and Response

You never had feelings for me
I see now I am never who I want me to be for you
I'm not saying it's a waste of time, though
I have accepted you and what happened
Actually, I have accepted that the end has begun
I have been blind for a long long while
Not seeing what I don't want to see
Because even a glimpse is already too much pain
Not the kind of pain that will simply go away
And so I pretend
To look happy when I'm sad
To smile when I feel like crying
To be smart after being foolish
And to love even though that love is not re-payed
The first thing I want to do is to get it back
From where it all began
The way things used to be before everything changed
Realization of the future sets in
And I know I have to move on
And I know I will
Just that, I want it to be a little bit sooner


2 July 2011

Let Me Send My Goodbye

Goodbye to your laughter, loud but cute

Goodbye to your randomness, surprising but fun

Goodbye to your smile, refreshing and real

Goodbye to your friendship, but only for now

We never connected, but we definitely bonded

We never dated, but we always hang out

We never talked much, but when we do it's deep

We never thought this would happen to me, but it did

I gave you my trust and care

I gave you my secrets and honesty

I gave you my travels and attention

I gave you my principles, my love

Thank you for the pasta and fries

Thank you for the conversations

Thank you for the time

Thank you for you just being you

From Melodies of Life -

We met

We laughed

We held on fast.. and then

We said goodbye

2 July 2011

Love Not Taken

Out on the porch waiting for the rising sun
Still thinking of you as you sleep in the bed
I can only gaze at the sliding door
You're inside the room, so near yet so far
I have given a lot and asking nothing back
But what good is a man with broken principles?
Disappointing, yes, yet you have made me more
Of what I am and what I should be
Love comes in many unexpected ways
I would say you are the most surprising
You've changed a lot since then
I don't like that and still I love you more
I miss your spontaneity and mature personality
You are still beautiful, always is
Sadly, you will never know of this
And so I say this to you through written words
Is it weird that I love you?
Because I do, I even find it funny sometimes
But it's true and you know it too
That all I have from you will only be memories
Of a love that will never come to be


2 July 2011

Love Less Distant

Quitting is never my forte
Love never quits
It slowly fades and just move on
But never will it be totally gone
Speaking with the right words
Thinking with the right mind
Acting with the right intentions
Loving with the right heart
Damn this entangled heart
The sky's losing its color
I'm not sure how this feels
I am alone again
Can't sleep til twilight fades
Is it the end of the world
That death becomes a reflection
But only you could do this to me
What to keep my mind off of you
Why should I face the sorrow
How do I handle these days
You mean this much to me
I miss you love

31 January 2008

WINDOW VIEW

i hope it rains so hard
winds howling through the trees
the feeling i have inside
clear and strong yet
surpassed by the loneliness
of not having you
the light drizzle
mirrorring my emotions
and droplets dancing
on the rooftops
suddenly memories
from the past emerged
clouds of fun and laughter
sadness and tears
curving the lips
mistying the eyes
nostalgic as ever
like it was just yesterday
so much of everything
now full of nothing
i miss you so...

3 april 2007

DIVINE & ETERNITY

when's it ever true love?
we are close yet so far apart
miles away from each other's touch
loneliness weakening my heart
when fate decided against us
you and i fight for our love
people building walls and closing doors
if only you were freer than a caged dove
but then we began to doubt
do you and i have someone else?
days of migraine thinking about july
truths and lies and nobody tells
i feel stupid, love's like that
no way to contact you and tell you so
you must have moved on and now happy
i won't lie, i want you so much
purpose of my life denied to me
i'm still here waiting for your call
your love i'll always remember
our vows we swore i'll never break
my love will last forever...

27 March 2007

HYSTERICS

What do we do
When we know not what to do
When everything seems so right
And at the same time so wrong
When looking back
Brings you forward
When you can't stop to worry
Because someone's somewhere happy
When you try to fool yourself
Of all the selfishness around
When some things are meant to be
Played again and again
When you can't cry enough
That tears won't anymore fall
When busy from all the trials
About your jaded life
When driving slowly
To prevent this crash
And winning small matters
When loving someone
Is all that makes you sad

August 22, 2006

FATIGUE

Boats floating in my head
Now sailing I don't know where
Too many of them I can't count
Rowing in the middle of here and there
They're not even real to my eyes
Closed I feel them so light
But I am never so blind
Were they lost in their plight?
Or have I gone mad?
Float and sink, come and go
In this eternity of an ocean
Whenever you want them to come
No control under the sun
Everything is so futile
Desperate to find something
Myself in this single, lonely isle
Working hard all I can
I don't want anything anymore
I needed to be rejuvenated
Coz I'm all worn out
And I'd rather be dead

July 11, 2002

DEPART

Serenity. Stillness. Tranquility.
No equivalence to peace on mind
To prove my inner ability
Forcing past events to unwind
To think is to gain
My own unrivaled freedom
A god to an everlasting terrain
Ruling not a thing in this kingdom
I'm an actor of two plays
Performing so well even I don't know
Battered in what I thought for so many days
I know now but confused on what to do
How I long for them to come
No compare to rising contentment
You should share me some
Coz you are happy without intent
That I may die and live no more
Not showing even a damn care
Looking for just one open door
Meet my challenges and all their dare
Maybe there I'll find peace

July 11, 2002