poems

Confessions

2011-07-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

the thing is i love you
that's really all there is to it
well, it kind of took me by surprise
i never wanted to tell you how i feel
i will be vulnerable you knowing how i feel
maybe because i was kind of hoping that
the next i fell in love with will be my last
and to think that it would be with you
you were never surprised, were you?
you even said you were waiting for me to open up
but why would you want me to?
when you later said i am nobody to you?
hell, you may not know how you feel
or maybe you do and have reservations
if that is the case then
whatever those reservations are i respect them
or maybe you really just don't feel the same way
and you're taking for granted the feelings i give
but still, in the end, they don't matter
i know how i feel so i had to tell you
and i hope that everything's alright

7 July 2011

Realization and Response

2011-07-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

You never had feelings for me
I see now I am never who I want me to be for you
I'm not saying it's a waste of time, though
I have accepted you and what happened
Actually, I have accepted that the end has begun
I have been blind for a long long while
Not seeing what I don't want to see
Because even a glimpse is already too much pain
Not the kind of pain that will simply go away
And so I pretend
To look happy when I'm sad
To smile when I feel like crying
To be smart after being foolish
And to love even though that love is not re-payed
The first thing I want to do is to get it back
From where it all began
The way things used to be before everything changed
Realization of the future sets in
And I know I have to move on
And I know I will
Just that, I want it to be a little bit sooner

2 July 2011

Let Me Send My Goodbye

2011-07-02T00:13:00.000-07:00

Goodbye to your laughter, loud but cute

Goodbye to your randomness, surprising but fun

Goodbye to your smile, refreshing and real

Goodbye to your friendship, but only for now

We never connected, but we definitely bonded

We never dated, but we always hang out

We never talked much, but when we do it's deep

We never thought this would happen to me, but it did

I gave you my trust and care

I gave you my secrets and honesty

I gave you my travels and attention

I gave you my principles, my love

Thank you for the pasta and fries

Thank you for the conversations

Thank you for the time

Thank you for you just being you

From Melodies of Life -

We met

We laughed

We held on fast.. and then

We said goodbye

2 July 2011

Love Not Taken

2011-07-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

Out on the porch waiting for the rising sun
Still thinking of you as you sleep in the bed
I can only gaze at the sliding door
You're inside the room, so near yet so far
I have given a lot and asking nothing back
But what good is a man with broken principles?
Disappointing, yes, yet you have made me more
Of what I am and what I should be
Love comes in many unexpected ways
I would say you are the most surprising
You've changed a lot since then
I don't like that and still I love you more
I miss your spontaneity and mature personality
You are still beautiful, always is
Sadly, you will never know of this
And so I say this to you through written words
Is it weird that I love you?
Because I do, I even find it funny sometimes
But it's true and you know it too
That all I have from you will only be memories
Of a love that will never come to be

2 July 2011

Love Less Distant

2008-01-30T17:22:00.000-08:00

Quitting is never my forte
Love never quits
It slowly fades and just move on
But never will it be totally gone
Speaking with the right words
Thinking with the right mind
Acting with the right intentions
Loving with the right heart
Damn this entangled heart
The sky's losing its color
I'm not sure how this feels
I am alone again
Can't sleep til twilight fades
Is it the end of the world
That death becomes a reflection
But only you could do this to me
What to keep my mind off of you
Why should I face the sorrow
How do I handle these days
You mean this much to me
I miss you love

31 January 2008

WINDOW VIEW

2007-04-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

i hope it rains so hard
winds howling through the trees
the feeling i have inside
clear and strong yet
surpassed by the loneliness
of not having you
the light drizzle
mirrorring my emotions
and droplets dancing
on the rooftops
suddenly memories
from the past emerged
clouds of fun and laughter
sadness and tears
curving the lips
mistying the eyes
nostalgic as ever
like it was just yesterday
so much of everything
now full of nothing
i miss you so...

3 april 2007

DIVINE & ETERNITY

2007-03-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

when's it ever true love?
we are close yet so far apart
miles away from each other's touch
loneliness weakening my heart
when fate decided against us
you and i fight for our love
people building walls and closing doors
if only you were freer than a caged dove
but then we began to doubt
do you and i have someone else?
days of migraine thinking about july
truths and lies and nobody tells
i feel stupid, love's like that
no way to contact you and tell you so
you must have moved on and now happy
i won't lie, i want you so much
purpose of my life denied to me
i'm still here waiting for your call
your love i'll always remember
our vows we swore i'll never break
my love will last forever...

27 March 2007

HYSTERICS

2006-08-22T00:33:00.000-07:00

What do we do
When we know not what to do
When everything seems so right
And at the same time so wrong
When looking back
Brings you forward
When you can't stop to worry
Because someone's somewhere happy
When you try to fool yourself
Of all the selfishness around
When some things are meant to be
Played again and again
When you can't cry enough
That tears won't anymore fall
When busy from all the trials
About your jaded life
When driving slowly
To prevent this crash
And winning small matters
When loving someone
Is all that makes you sad

August 22, 2006

FATIGUE

2006-08-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

Boats floating in my head
Now sailing I don't know where
Too many of them I can't count
Rowing in the middle of here and there
They're not even real to my eyes
Closed I feel them so light
But I am never so blind
Were they lost in their plight?
Or have I gone mad?
Float and sink, come and go
In this eternity of an ocean
Whenever you want them to come
No control under the sun
Everything is so futile
Desperate to find something
Myself in this single, lonely isle
Working hard all I can
I don't want anything anymore
I needed to be rejuvenated
Coz I'm all worn out
And I'd rather be dead

July 11, 2002

DEPART

2006-08-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

Serenity. Stillness. Tranquility.
No equivalence to peace on mind
To prove my inner ability
Forcing past events to unwind
To think is to gain
My own unrivaled freedom
A god to an everlasting terrain
Ruling not a thing in this kingdom
I'm an actor of two plays
Performing so well even I don't know
Battered in what I thought for so many days
I know now but confused on what to do
How I long for them to come
No compare to rising contentment
You should share me some
Coz you are happy without intent
That I may die and live no more
Not showing even a damn care
Looking for just one open door
Meet my challenges and all their dare
Maybe there I'll find peace

July 11, 2002

now for my 2nd blog...

2006-08-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

i will soon scrap my geocities site. this blog will now be my posts for my poems. i had old poems to place, i'll soon add new ones. you can also check out my other blog about insights, quotes, and nasty theories...;p anyway, you can check it at http://www.bloghuman.blogspot.com
...and guys comments for my two blogs would be nice! thanks ;)

THE GATHERING OF MAGIC

2006-08-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of Urza and Mizra?
The first discovery: the Ornithopter
The cause of their quarrel: the 2 gems
The sources of energy and power
The tranquility of the enchantments
Or the armageddon of all lands
Or the unleashed wrath of God
Bring forth cataclysm and anarchy
Summon your lords and their minions
Counter and interrupt spells casted
Angels and archangels of the white plains
Spellcasters of the blue islands
Elves, druids, and Gaia herself of the green forests
Fiery instants[cheese] of the red mountains
And the dark lords of the black swamps
Dragons, ghouls, paladins, and knights
Dual lands, pain lands, and the city of brass
All these are illusions of grandeur
The chilling beauty of the moxes
A sacrifce more potent
Never more precious than a black lotus

28 january 2002

PISAY, WHERE?

2006-08-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

One of the unforgettable places
A small compound with greens
The main building[Humanities] up front
Flanked by the four dormitories
The cooperative in the middle
The multi-purpose gymnasium
Open courts of tennis and basketball
The soccer field with the track
Found on the compound's right
The lobbies: front and the back
Buildings made up of stone cement
Regular classrooms with
Windows hanging out in the open
Beautiful, yes, and comfortable
Tha atmosphere is cool and electrifying
Soothing the surrounding tension
A remarkable site
The place for my high school life
I can't think more of a better place
Located in Agham Road of Diliman
Philippine Science High School

27 january 2002

PISAY, WHEN

2006-08-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

What's the best part of our lives?
Standing on the sharp edge of the knives
With friends along on our sides
Companions forever across the tides
Times when trouble never cease
Like leprosy or plaguing disease
Finding within ones self the beast
Blinded by an unknown mist
The change of self is dramatic
Like glass turn into plastic
Things happening we can't predict
Trying to reach the sky like an addict
Maturity is coming to sense
Outlook of life getting more dense
Looking through a very thick lens
Young warriors with paper and pens
Life is getting stranger
Not knowing wether it is worse or better
Mine happened because of one letter
Others like me become stronger
This is my high school life

31 january 2002

MY PERFECT GIRL

2006-08-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

She's beautiful and wonderful
She will brighten up your day
I believe this to be true
Coz that's what others would say
She moves smoothly and with grace
She speaks not a single lie
She is miracle itself
And, yes, cows will fly
Her body is soft and warm
Never exhausted, always so lively
Compassion and sympathy reflected
A perfect girl she will always be
Who would want for more?
My life is now complete
I would ask for her hand
And never will I implore deceit
Don't pinch me now
She is my life
Long lost but now found
Angel in disguise
Eternally bound

19 february 2002

LOVE II

2006-08-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

You are created by the heavens
A rose petal wet with the morning dew
Sunshine penetrating the mists
A promised hope that burns
An eternal, rising flame so bright
You talk so innocently
Burdening me with the guilt of life
Simple beauty yet so elegant
Petrifying so many hearts
For you can have your one and only
And I think I would not fit
For you are a goddess
Casting enchantments with mortals
And I may be one of the imprisoned
Seeking sanctity only in love
Forbidden, yes, but not impossible
A dream of fairy tales
That engulfs ones soul
To oblivion and beyond
I love you-
God's lovely maid

8 february 2002

LOVE

2006-08-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

Can we measure love?
I thought love's more than words
More than anything, infinitive
But love has its breadth and depth
Defined as passion of the sexes
Can it be a hidden talent?
Hiding in the shadows of emotions
Waiting to overtake
Some excited for the moment
Others fear and dreaded it
Why?
Pain have always been an accompaniment
SOS for the broken-hearted
Dose of patience for patients
Love unpaid
A tragedy by Cupid
And what about love's companions?
Trust with care and friendship forevermore
Feelings encompassing thoughts
Heart conquers mind over matter
Another impossibility? No

26 january 2002

JUST THINK ABOUT IT

2006-08-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

Too paradoxical, too complicated
Having so many souls and colours
Blinding because of too much of everything
Minds coerced by uncertainty
Fathom opposes my reality
Adrift like a hypnotic specter
War games with avatars and archangels
Vanishes all at once through incineration
Fantasy with djinns, krakens, and boas
But who else knows reality?
Each is exceptionally unique
Rarer even in values we hold
Quixotic would be a fit description
To be or not to be? Sane?
Better buried a feet below the ground
What to make of eternity
Nothing
Time to be a god of yourself
Freedom never before experienced
Indescribable, undefined
So, is there something on your mind?

12 february 2002

ISNAB

2006-08-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

Hindi muna kita pinansin
Kasi di ka rin naman sa akin nakatingin
Pag ikaw nama'y aking kausapin
Tinatapos mo agad ang ating usapin
Gusto pa naman kitang kaibiganin
Kasama sa lahat ng iyong tatahakin
Pero ako'y iyong iniiwanan para mapanis
Lahat na lang ng gagawin ko'y nakakainis
Tatakbo sayo ng palayo at nang mabilis
Pag ika'y galit at nagmumukhang epis
Na kaka-sawsaw lang sa patis
O bakit ba ako'y ayaw na ayaw mo?
Pinandidirian at pinagsasabihan ng kung anu-ano
Na ako ay imoral, tanga, at bobo
Mas marami ka pa atang alam na salita kaysa iyong lolo
Ba't isa ako sa iyong mga hindi gusto?
Buti pa'y punta na ako sa isang mataas na tulay
At ako na ay magpapakamatay
Wala naman akong kwenta sa iyong buhay
Basta wag ka lang pumunta sa aking lamay
Baka pati dun e isnab ka pa rin

20 march 2002

GLORY

2006-08-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

We are alone in the oppressing dark
But luminous power is granting our hope
Walking without a path and a destination
Looking for the way to the heavens
In a moment, we'll see beyond the woods
A beam of light to shine
Two hearts warmed by the generous day
Free clouds are flying
Present to change the malign weather
A shadow of the ship passes us by
One must leave for the path is unclear
Grieving forest sways its leaves to the wind
We'll soon meet and then be together
Chased by soldiers without authority
Hide in a corner, saved by you
They left not noticing the brightly lit room
Now a strong company to reckon with
Tangible memories accustomed to love
For you, everything will be free
The gods dine with our presence
Together we find our home

28 july 2002

FOR MY CRITICS

2006-08-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

You who read my papers
What kind of critic will you be?
To my works or to myself
Will I be a man of intrigue?
Will my works be applauded?
What have you found out about me?
What meanings will you recognize my work?
Time passes us like a cloud
Changes happen
And soon it's difficult to learn
I'm lying in the bed
Thinking and waiting for the words
Which soon float around my head
What to say or what to write
Living with this kind of life
I urge all to understand this
Variation in all ideologies
Senselessness popping out
Revelation unfold
For me to be eternal
Have you got it?

11 march 2002

COOL GIRL

2006-08-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

I fell in love with you
And your body and mind
And everything that you do
Then I gave up on you
Coz you're not mine
And I make you blue
I'm a king, a star
A lowlife beggar
I'm an actor, a priest
Kneeling to say the least
In a tragedy of breaks
We cry, I cry the most
I'm a lover, an addict
Nobody ever so strict
I'm an assassin, a player
Into bending a mind-reader
You'll see me smile
Nothing so damn worthwile
But then again I fell back on you
Coz I realize
I live in the world that you knew

10 july 2002

CONDITIONS

2006-08-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

All is in the absolute
The wanderings of my incompleteness
The recklessness of abandonments
Sadness engulfing hope
Contrivable melancholy in misery
Essence of all being
By observation of nothingness
Damnation of the living
Enough food for the eternal soul
Omnipresence of confounded love
Tortured by hate on the other side
Freedom's absence in predestination
A flash of darkness seen
White forever tainted by black
Lies begets itself
Knowledge imparted is transitory
Wise words formed
But a man knew more
That he knew less
Obviously, what is seen?
All is in the absolute

25 january 2002

BACKING OUT HESITATION

2006-08-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

Am I gone in your eyes?
We haven't even said our goodbyes
You know I hate it when things end
So much left undone and to be tend
I had no other choice to make
I did it for our own sake
Still, I didn't want it this way
Hating every single day
Now I'm dropping on my knees
Not a beggar asking, just saying please
Things that I never wanted to do
And it's all because of you
Made me think I'm a nobody
Always thinking 'slap-u-silly'
You've hurt my pride and made me cry
Can't bear any longer-wanting to die
After all those things, I still didn't change
My life is now a shooting range
Bullets speeding past my chest
Soon I will have to rest
But for now, I still love you

30 june 2002

ADVERSARIES

2006-08-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

Is it the other way around?
Like hate crumbles in love
Or infinity that is bound
Or up and down; below and above
The way things all started
Was there order or confusion?
Light in darkness aggravated
Armageddon, the end of creation
How near is far?
Or is absence always present?
And what's the plural for singular?
Would you like it straight or bent?
Abdication of lies in honesty
Like blocking a strong hit
If permanence is transitory,
Then originality can never be mimicked
How to defend an offense
Being upset over hapiness
The complexity of simplicity
Pull of life after push of death
The other side of the coin

25 january 2002

A FRIEND

2006-08-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

Stand by my side
Fellow surfer of this tide
Riding in a glistening silver
Better like this than a diver
Let us shout till our lungs are out
Doing all this without any moment's doubt
Then smile with what confronts us
Coz we're sailing with class
Of all the fun and laughter we shared
You're still the one I cared
Whether you fall down or stumble
My life for you I always gamble
Together we stand amidst the crowd
For being with you I am proud
I'm lucky to have met you
Thank you for everything...now
Forever you will always be with me
So I'll never say goodbye
Even as time passes us by
And let the moments fly high
Until the day I die

4 march 2002